Helping Your Child Overcome Violence

The Childrens Wear Outlet  Helping Your Child Overcome Violence

Violence is one of the oldest emotions of mankind.  It dates back to the story of Cain and Abel.  Why does man feel violence

 brings about workable solutions when he has proved over and over that it does not?

Violence stems from one’s inability to think and act logically and responsibly.  Leading factors in promoting and maintaining violence are anger, greed and revenge.  This article will give specific ways you can help your child overcome violence within himself and others.

Wikipedia defines violence is  “the use of physical force to apply a state to others contrary to their wishes.”  That state can be physical, mental, emotional or a combination thereof.   Ask yourself, “Do I enjoy making other people unhappy?  Do I intentionally do things to cause mental or physical anguish? ” If the answer is Yes to either of these questions, ask a third one.  “Do I receive pleasure in doing it?”  This is a self-evaluation process one should give serious thought to.   Evil thoughts and actions, whether overt or covert, can be contributors to your child’s violent behavior.

The first years of a child’s life are dominated by thoughts and actions of  parents.  His foundation is molded and shaped by  principles that you set-up to guide and govern him.  Lasting impressions are made more by observation than words.  The old “do as I say, but not as I do” simply does not work.  All behavior is learned inclusive of violent behavior.

Steps To Help Your Child Avoid Bullying and Overcoming Violence:

1.  Surround your child with love, affection and proper care.

2.  Spend time with your child.  Let him know from infancy how important he is to you.

3.  Give reassurance in challenging and difficult times.

4.  Give counseling and correction to violent attitudes and behavior.

5.  Evaluate each child on his own values and merits without comparing him to others.

6.  Develop a relationship of trust, respect and obedience with your child.

7.  Promise only what you can deliver.

8.  Support your child with honest answers about yourself in times of death and grief.

9.  Be proactive in responding to abrupt changes in your child’s behavior.

10.  Never lie to your child.

11.  Set clear standards and perimeters for your child’s behavior and be consistent in enforcing them.

12.  Promote peaceful resolutions by practicing what you preach.

13.  Limit your child’s exposure to violence via TV, computer and video games.

14.  Help promote safety through community involvement in programs that help to overcome violence. 

 Follow these suggestions and you will be well on the way to helping your child overcome violence within himself and developing solutions to helping others.

If you found this article helpful, place it on your Facebook and twitter pages and email it to a friend or relative.

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Mom-and-Pop-Online-Stuff Asks: How Do You Help Your Child When He Is the Bully?

                   Bulling   .    .    .    Or   .   .   .    Is Your Child the Bully?

Which would you prefer?  Would you rather have your child bullied or would you rather have your child the bully?  I do not believe there is a comfortable answer to either question.  The only logical answer is “I prefer neither.”    The above picture does not reveal physical bullying, but is psychological bulling any better?  What are signs that your child could be a bully?

Bullying comes with many faces: physical, emotional, verbal or sexual.  Each brings with it scars that can last a lifetime if not removed.

Here are some signs that help you determine if your child is the  bully:

  1. Is there something in your child’s past that may allow him to feel insecure?  Does he  feel insecure about a missing parent in the household?
  2. Have you placed responsibilities on your child that should be only adult responsibilities, consciously or unconsciously?
  3. Is his interaction with other children domineering, submissive or really “over-the-top?”
  4. Does he feel badly because he does poorly in school?  Has little or no friends?
  5. Is his over-all self-esteem very low?
  6. Does he live in an environment where bullying takes place?  From another parent, sibling or you?
  7. How do you handle adversity?  Is he mimicking your behavior?
These are questions that need to be asked and answered honestly.  Investigate, observe and evaluate, and if there are yes answers, make them no’s.

How do you make them no’s?    

Ask yourself if you have moral values “in place” in the home.  If not, that is an excellent place to begin for yourself.  Talk with a minister, or someone whom you hold in high-esteem.  Read literature that instills sound moral principles and try to incorporate them into your own life.  Teach by example.   The old “do as I say, but not as I do” simply does not work.  Instilling fear by bullying yourself is not the answer.  It produces the same behavior you are seeking to eliminate.

  1. Talk calmly to your child about his behavior.  “Would you want the same thing done to you that you are doing to others?”
  2. Let your child know that you have no tolerance for such behavior.
  3. Require that he apologize verbally and in writing to the child he is bullying.
  4. Try to determine the root causes of his behavior.  You may need to have someone else counsel him.
  5. Monitor the kind of programs he watches on TV and the internet.  A steady dose of violence in not good for you or him.  Watch what you allow played in your house!
  6. Never make promises that you can or do not intend to enforce.  Make sure your child knows that all actions have consequences, and if you assign a consequence for an action, follow through with it.
  7. Work diligently and harmoniously with your child’s school and community organizations.  Working together can produce  successive results.
Bullying is a learned behavior and a preventative action  to this behavior can also be learned.  If not handled in childhood, it ripens and matures in adulthood, hereby causing many of the crimes that society deals with today.   Coming together and finding solutions as a family, country and world, we can stop bullying in its tracks.

The Childrens Wear Outlet

Survival for Mom and Pop stores can be a challenging one.  They are out-priced, out-packaged and dominated by large national chains.  What is a mom and pop store?

According to Free Dictionary, a mom-and-pop store is that which is “of or being a small business that is typically owned and run by members of a family; resembling or evocative of the small-scale, homelike, or informal atmosphere of such a business.”  It is so much more than that!

History of a Mom-and-Pop Store 

Mom-and-Pop stores have a rich history.  In the early 1900s, practically every small town was dotted with grocery stores, clothing stores and hardware stores that met the needs of the community.  It was not unusual to find all of these things in one location.  As a kid growing up in the south, my family and I had to “walk” two miles to get to the closest store.  I loved that little place.  There  was only thing wrong with it–I never seemed to have enough money to get one of those large “penny cookies.”  My mouth “watered” for one every time I went in, but all I had was enough money to get the few items my mom sent for.  I remember thinking, “If I owned this store, I could eat all of the cookies I wanted, and no one could stop me.”

There were corner drugstores which often became the center for social networking.   Most were owned by the same family for many generations.  Everybody knew everybody, so the pharmacist felt a kinship, as well as a responsibility to make sure the right drug was prescribed.  Many drug stores had ice cream and soda fountains.  High school classmates would meet and get to know each better over a milk shake or a soda generated by a large fountain.  These were the “good ol’ days!

Mom and pop stores showed a welcoming spirit to the people in the community.   They had something that the big box stores cannot replicate, no matter how hard they tried.  Shoppers are more inclined to start and hold a conversation in mom and pop stores than in supermarkets or chain stores.

You get the feeling that everybody is in a hurry in national chains–they are there to get you to buy something and move on to the next guy.  There simply is no place for building relationships.   My dad had a relationship with the grocer in my small town.  He could go there and get a sack of flour or meal on credit if need be.  He simply gave “his word” to pay when money came in on Saturday from the pulpwood he had sold  the day before.   The grocer said, “Alright,” because he knew his brothers, sisters and his father had known my dad’s father.   These relationships had grown over many years and continued to grow.  Today, credit is so impersonal.  It is relegated to cards, numbers and voices on an approval machine or electronic devices that threaten you with fees.

Mom an Pop Stores:  Today

Let us not lament and cry “crocodile tears,” mom and pop stores have not disappeared.  They are live and growing!  They have re-invented themselves in many ways:  the neat coffee shop on your way home; the little clothing boutique that assures you that you will not “see yourself at the party” with the dress you bought a week ago; or the muffin shop where the owner uses his mom’s recipes.

Consumers should not feel that just because a store is not a big box, prices will not be competitive.  That is not always the case!  That is a myth!  Get over it!  Compare apples with apples and you may be surprised.  So, skip the ride to the “giants’–you just might experience a super “mom-and-pop-day!”

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